


cold metal in the afternoon

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Food, I really like to include food in fics, I've prob wrote this fic before but whatever, Ill include a TW just in case, M/M, POV Tony Stark, Stucky - Freeform, Tony Is Not Helping, Tony tries to play Cupid, Vision are you trying to flirt, never let Clint choose the meal, somebody help this man, sometimes love needs a snarky push in the right direction, who let Vision cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 12:51:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7977370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunger induced snark and curiosity get the best of Tony. He still doesn't buy the whole Platonic War Buddies shtick.<br/>"Are you two dating?," he blurts out.<br/>Steve blushes bright pink and Bucky smugly grins.<br/>"What?," Steve squeaks, weakly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cold metal in the afternoon

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a product of america  
> from the morgue to the prisons  
> cold metal, when I start my band  
> cold metal, in my garbage can  
> cold metal, gets in my blood  
> and my attitude

* **tw: food** *

 

"So are the two of you..." Tony wiggles his fingers in Bucky's general direction and Steve turns beet red.

Thankfully Clint and Bucky are thoroughly distracted with a gadget Natasha is demonstrating. Because no, they're not. More than anything Steve would like to wake up next to Bucky and breathe him in. He'd like to take his hand in public and prove to him that love doesn't have to hurt.

Steve puts his hands on his hips in an attempt to regain his composure because that frail blushing sixteen year old he works so hard to hide is slipping out.

"Why would you ask that?"

Tony pours cream into a nearly overflowing cup of coffee and smirks.

"I don't fondle Rhodey."

Best friends don't act like Steve and Bucky. For that matter they've probably never been "just friends" even if they're both too stubborn to realize it.

"Since when is touching someone _fondling_?"

Bucky and Nat begin to argue in Russian while Clint throws up his hands in frustration.

"I've never held Rhodey's hand."

Steve glances at Bucky and purses his lips. This is a pointless conversation.

"I wasn't, I didn't..."

Except, yes. He did, he does.

Tony cocks and eyebrow and saunters away to correct whatever mistake Clint, Bucky and Natasha are making before they break his newest prototype.

+

 

**[two days later]**

"I believe they are called scalloped potatoes," Vision replies as he pokes at the abomination on his plate. He'd volunteered to feed the whole crew tonight as Clint's idea of a good meal is a bag of BBQ chips and chili dogs. Not that they weren't delicious but it's what he serves nearly every time.

"What are these spices?," Wanda questions. She'd offered to help but Vision had shooed everyone from the kitchen and insisted, quite confidently, "I have recipes. I've got this."

The plural version of _recipe_ should've tipped them off.

Natasha washes a bite down with nearly an entire glass of red wine.

Bruce shrugs and eats it without complaint. He has had worse.

Tony stares at his in a mixture of thinly veiled disgust and confusion. He pushes apart the half burnt, half raw potato slices in hopes of finding something better.

Pepper glares. " _Try_ it."

Absolutely not.

Meanwhile, Steve is lightly skimming a finger up and down Bucky's right arm as they ignore everything and everyone.

"Bay leaves, candied ginger, a little paprika, crushed red peppers," Vision states. He has yet to sample his own creation.

Clint cringes and forces down a polite bite that is promptly followed by wine he nearly chokes on. Natasha shoots him a knowing look because yes, it's _that_ bad.

"I'll order a flatbread with tomato sauce and cheese," Vision volunteers. What's that word? Pizza, yes. That.

Wanda puts a hand on Vision's arm, comforting. "I'll place the order."

They stare at one another for a moment, bonding over pizza of all things. It seems to be a Thing with them: food involved flirting.

"Thank you."

She reluctantly walks away with phone in hand.

Steve leans over to whisper something in Bucky's ear that makes him smile. They are usually very vocal about what a proper pizza should include. Cheese, more cheese, loads of cheese. Today, however, they're oblivious. Tony leans back in his chair and watches. After while he listens in on Clint and Vision's conversation.

 

Clint is patiently educating Vision about spices and "You need to be gentle with it. Make love to the food."

"Make _love_? Where can I find that recipe?"

"Yeah...just. Okay, science. You want the proper ratio of milk and flour, salt and pepper."

Their voices drown out as Tony turns to Pepper and Natasha. They're discussing the merits of sushi. As far as Tony is concerned it's delicious, it needs no convincing.

Bruce keeps to himself, still enjoying his meal.

 

Meanwhile Bucky's hand is now resting on Steve's shoulder with thumb brushing against his neck. Steve beams at him and Tony catches the tail end of "-and then we had to share a bed. We were 14, remember? You stole the covers."

Bucky blushes and gives him a crooked smile.

Hunger induced snark and curiosity get the best of Tony. He still doesn't buy the whole Platonic War Buddies shtick.

"Are you two dating?," he blurts out.

Steve blushes bright pink and Bucky smugly grins.

"What?," Steve squeaks, weakly.

"I'll take that as a yes," Tony replies. This is far better entertainment than eavesdropping.

Pepper's eyes widen. "Tony," she warns. He's pushing it.

"Too soon?," he questions innocently.

Vision turns toward said couple and calmly states. "I am sure they would like to discuss the matter of their intimacy privately."

 _Intimacy_. Nice touch.

Steve schools his expression into Captain mode though everyone can see the cracks shining through.

"I've already answered that."

Tony takes a sip of his wine. "Yeah but that was a lie so it doesn't count."

Bucky's metal hand clenches and he purposely scoots his wine glass away. He has yet to remove his hand from Steve's shoulder.

"That's enough."

Only...Tony wants an answer. If they're not going to make the magic happen then he will.

"I don't think it is."

Steve pushes away from the table and instinctively takes Bucky by the hand before, upon realizing what he's doing, drops it.

"It's not up for discussion, Tony."

 

Having grown tired of the drama, Clint and Vision turn their attention back toward one another.

"No ginger then?"

"No, save that for cookies."

"Shortbread? Coconut? Peanut butter? Which type of cookie is required?"

Clint laughs. "Ginger is the main ingredient at the party with gingersnap cookies. _But_ he also invites cinnamon and-"

Just stab Tony in the eye already.

 

He continues. "Okay, I'll back off but I'm taking credit for being the first to know. You'd think after seventy years-"

Bucky takes Steve's hand in his own even as Steve balks. 

"Don't," he warns, hard cold eyes glaring at Tony. The homicidal ex assassin label is a good look on him, fits like a glove.

Whatever. Rhodey has joined the dinner party at last and captured Tony's attention. Steve groans and follows Bucky to the door.

Wanda returns just as it shuts behind them. "What happened? I ordered two cheese pizzas for them, no one else will eat them."

Love and suppression happened.

Tony waves a hand about dramatically. "I tried to play Cupid. Words were said, vague homicidal threats were made, hands were held, you know. The usual."

She should know, she was Steve's confidante long before Bucky's return.

"Oh."

Rhodey wordlessly takes a full bottle of wine. Ah, dinner parties with the avengers never fails to impress. He told himself he wouldn't drink but what can you do?

Wanda glances at Vision. "Give them time."

Tony laughs. They've had more than enough time. "They've been together longer than Sonny and Cher."

"Who?"

Rhodey mumbles about kids these days and meanders off to find a bottle opener with Tony at his back.

 

 

**[two weeks later]**

Natasha sniffs at a pot of simmering canned chili. "Hotdogs again, Clint?"

Tony rounds the corner with three bags of hotdog buns and at least six different flavors of chips. It's best not to start a war by purchasing six bags of plain Ripples. The last time Clint tried to pass everyone off with BBQ chips it had turned ugly. We're talking insults about generic hotdogs and being cheap, where you can shove your chili with Beans and _I don't even eat meat._

Not repeating that particular disaster again.

" _Chili_ dogs," Clint corrects as she walks away.

"Heads up - sea salt & vinegar!" Tony tosses a bag toward her and she catches it from halfway across the room.

"Plain Lays!" Bucky's back is turned but he manages to capture his before it even came close to hitting the ground.

"Ketchup?," Clint asks. Tony passes him a bag. Apparently gobs of ketchup on his hotdogs isn't enough to meet his daily requirement.

Wanda and Vision begin to open bags of hotdog buns and pull out condiments. Nat's hot sauce, Bruce's relish, Clint's ketchup, Tony's spicy brown mustard, Bucky and Steve's yellow mustard, Peppers pre-chopped onions, Wanda's sauerkraut.

Steve takes the bag from Bucky's hand and-

It happens.

He leans forward and hooks a finger under Bucky's chin then kisses him right on the mouth just as casual as can be. Tony drops Bruce's Pringles.

YES.

FINALLY.

He begins to clap and this time Bucky doesn't regard him with indifference. Instead, he winks and takes Steve's face in his palms. He then proceeds to really puts on a show.

Oh boy.

Tony grins cockily and walks away.

**Author's Note:**

> loosely inspired by these cuties https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14199520_1085216028221419_3258593454680360049_n.jpg?oh=b07f9951d3f329c069c0e1957e061c17&oe=584CB754
> 
> title is from "cold metal" by iggy pop 
> 
> clint knows how to cook, he's just lazy and likes being a little shit 
> 
> I WROTE ANOTHER HAPPY, I'M SO PROUD OF ME *throws glitter*
> 
> OVER 100 KUDOS, holy shit. I love you all so so much, you make me wanna write more happy fic <3 thank you!


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